How did a Cajun girl find her way to Saint Louis, MO? Thought I was listening to God — is my answer. After my original purpose was no more, I did wonder if I made bad choices or if I really am where God wants me. Maybe it was a good idea at the time and then it wasn’t a good idea. Worrying and wondering about past mistakes didn’t help the moving forward with God.
Along the way I kept seeking God, I kept trying to listen to His voice. I found myself in good Christian communities, Cursillo, Holy Redeemer Parish, working with Helen, St. Gabriel Parish and ACTS Retreats. Each person along the way added to my growing closer to God and healing of my insecurities.
Praying, reading scripture, retreats, and small faith sharing groups all helped me to draw closer to God. Do I still zig?, yes… do I still worry?, yep… Even though God blessed me with helpers along the way, I had to choose God and I had to have a relationship with Him. I had to learn that Jesus was enough no matter what storm that may come along. I like balance and routine but learned that with God, He might zig to show me I need a roller coaster ride.
I don’t worry, as much about being in “THE PLACE” God wants me, but being on journey with God. That wherever I am I can pray for someone, help someone, forgive someone but most importantly have a relationship with a God who is in Love with me. ♥
“My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it. Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.”
― Thomas Merton, Thoughts in Solitude